9 Toxic feminine traits classy women don’t possess

When I was in my early and mid 20s I must admit that I possessed a lot of unhealthy and even borderline toxic feminine traits. The problem was that I wasn’t even aware of such traits and simply continued living my life. 

Many years later as I was working to channel my divine feminine energy I realized that there were certain traits that were blocking my ability to do so. 

If your ultimate dream is to become an elegant woman who is thriving in her divine feminine energy, you must learn to identify and remove toxic traits from your life.

Here is a list of 9 toxic feminine traits to remove from your life.

toxic feminine traits modern elegance tips


The issue with jealousy is that as human beings it is normal to be jealous of other people. Maybe your friend got a job opportunity that you wanted. 

Maybe someone got to take a vacation and you didn’t get to go. Perhaps a friend found her soulmate and you are jealous because you are still single.

All of these things might make someone feel jealous. The difference between toxic jealousy and the way elegant women behave when they are jealous of someone or something is really what matters. 


I hear a lot about manipulation when it comes to toxic mothers and toxic female friends. We see it in the movies all the time. Girls manipulating each other and also manipulating other people in a negative way. 

I’ve also heard of girls working hard to turn other girls against one person. Manipulation can come in many forms. When used incorrectly, manipulation can be extremely toxic.


Again, this is another one that we as humans naturally possess. Being judgemental isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

It is bad when a woman is being judgemental about something that is none of her business. I see this dozens of times a day, every time I log onto social media. A woman posts something online, and dozens of women are in the comments passing judgment publicly. To someone they don’t even know in real life.

It’s always shocking to me when I see that kind of behavior, and I must admit that I used to be that way. Sometimes they do it for attention, but most of the time they do it because somewhere in their own life something isn’t going well for them and they are channeling their negative energy into someone else. 


Controlling behavior is toxic. Sometimes it can come about from something that is innocent. I find myself slipping into controlling behavior sometimes because I’m a mom, so for years when my kids were little I spent every single day micro-managing their lives. Now they are having to tell me ‘mom I can do this myself’. 

I don’t mean to do it on purpose and I’m actively working on becoming less controlling every single day.

Sometimes it can come from a place of love and sometimes controlling behavior can come from the wrong intentions. 


Does this even need an explanation? There is no reason to be hateful to someone else. Elegant women know this all too well. Being hateful is a toxic feminine trait and it is also a trait that will hurt you more than it hurts someone else.


This is perhaps one of the worst traits that I see. As someone who works in retail, I have seen women who are ready to argue and fight over every little thing. 

These women are still stuck in their masculine energy and most likely don’t know how to become more feminine. 

When combative women are in my store, I can’t help but be embarrassed for them. They cause a scene and it’s usually over something small that can easily be fixed, but they choose to argue instead. 


Another trait that doesn’t need an explanation. I am the first person who believes women should become more selfish. But my definition of selfish is not what you think. 

Women who are actually selfish are not generous and are only focused on themselves. Because of this behavior they block themselves from good things happening to them. 

Being selfish is another trait that will hurt them more than it hurts other people.

8.Overly dramatic

Creating drama where drama isn’t necessary is very toxic. It can be hard to be in a relationship or friendship with women like this because they are addicted to the drama. 

Because they are addicted to drama, they will always invite it into their life one way or another. Usually they don’t realize just how toxic they are being. 

9.People pleasing

This is one that I’ve learned about in recent years. Women often want to make everyone happy. They don’t like saying no to people or opportunities. This can result in them becoming burnt out and only living life for other people and not for themselves.

This happens slowly over time and it’s easy to be caught in the trap of being a people pleaser. Maybe it starts at work with taking extra shifts for people even though you are already overworked. It can start anywhere.

Then it escalates to chronic people pleasing, which is extremely problematic.

Final thoughts

Do you possess any of these toxic traits? I certainly have in the past and I’m still working on one of them now. 

Are you wondering how you can work on them? 

You can slowly fix your toxic traits by starting your elegance journey. Becoming an elegant woman has helped me heal and become a very positive, delightful person. 

If you are ready to start your elegance journey, My signature elegance course is perfect for you.


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