10 Ways to build an elegant reputation

He’s a cheater. And I don’t want to talk to him…

I suppose I should give you more context. Here is the backstory.

I once had a friend who was in a happy, healthy marriage. She had two children and they lived a picture perfect life. 

Until one day I was out of town and the wife called me in the afternoon. She was crying hysterically. 

I started to panic and I asked her what on earth happened?

She said her husband has been cheating on her. He cheated on her with multiple women and has a baby on the way with one of them.

Not only that, he said he is done with her and that he is leaving her for the other woman and starting a new family.

And so he did. 

She was left to pick up the pieces with two small children and a broken heart.

The following year she met an amazing man, she is now married and living a happy life.

But that isn’t the point. 

The point is that her cheating ex husband still lives in the area and I run into him in public all the time.

And you know what I think?

That he is a liar and a cheater. He is a man who created a family and then stepped out on them. I will never respect him, and I don’t even want to talk to him for two minutes at the store.

His reputation is ruined. At least for me. 

I never want the ladies reading my posts to ever be overly concerned about what people think about them. I want you to be authentic and unapologetically you. However, that isn’t always how the world works.

We spend a lot of time around many different people. And everyone has a different way of seeing us.

Of course there will always be people who don’t fancy you, but in general it is important to have one good thing that is always working for you.

Your Reputation.

Take a moment to think about it right now. Do you know what people think about you? Do you know what your reputation is? Do people consider you trustworthy? Kind? Elegant? Nurturing?

How are you perceived by your peers?

Does your reputation need some improvement?

Here are 10 ways to build or improve your reputation

1. Be kind

I put this at number one because it is perhaps the most important step of them all. No matter what is going on in your life, if you want to build and maintain an elegant reputation you must be kind.

I’m sure you will encounter some people in your life that aren’t very kind, remember that the way people treat others is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.

Or perhaps they are going through something in their life and they don’t know how to really deal with it so they project their struggles onto others. 

That type of behavior will never be okay, but it does happen. Never lose your cool, never fight fire with fire, always be kind. You can have boundaries and not let people take advantage of you, but you can also be a very caring and kind person.

2. Always follow through

One thing that people don’t like is other people who are flaky and never follow through with things that they say. Of course we all have those times where we need to cancel something, but if you are consistently flaky and you aren’t following through with things then people won’t take you seriously in the long term.

3. Be consistent

You can’t put on an elegant face on Monday and switch up your character on Wednesday, reputations are built over time. Especially if you currently feel as though you have a reputation that is less than stellar. You will have to work harder to create a different version of yourself for people to see.

4. Learn etiquette & manners

I work in retail. I work with many different women all of the time. I can assure you that women who are rude and don’t have any manners aren’t fancied in my store. 

They are hard to help and they make us not want anything to do with them when they enter our store. Of course we are always offering top notch customer service, but it isn’t always the easiest. 

Etiquette and manners really go a long way. If you are graceful and put together, meeting new people will be easier because you will leave a wonderful first impression.

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5. Punctuality

Another important tip is to be punctual. No one likes to make plans with people who are always late. Being late is a huge indicator that you have absolutely no consideration for other people’s time. 

In a professional setting, being late means you are unorganized and are less likely to take your job very seriously. 

If you struggle with being late, I recommend working on that because punctuality is very important.

6. Speak highly of others behind their back

If you have the opportunity to speak about someone when they aren’t around, if you don’t have anything nice to say, it is better not to say it at all.

People will realize that if you are talking about someone else to them that you are likely to talk about them behind their back as well.

If you can, try to lift people up when they aren’t around. It will show that you are an uplifting person.

7. Associate with good people

The people you spend your time with will definitely have an impact on the type of person you are. If you are close with someone who doesn’t have the best of reputations, then you will most definitely be looped in with them.

As much as it hurts to give up friends or even family members, you can easily protect your reputation by changing your inner circle to be fine upstanding people.

The same way companies want good employees and will fire someone who does something inappropriate, you can also be the same way with your close friends.

8. Get involved in your community

Being involved in your community is a fantastic way to start building a reputation and making a name for yourself in your little corner of the world. It also builds trust.

9. Take accountability

The older I get, the more I realize that people often struggle with taking accountability. There is nothing wrong with admitting to messing something up at work and apologizing or realizing mistakes you are making and correcting them.

In fact, people often admire and speak highly of people who aren’t afraid to take accountability for their actions.

10. Be careful what you post online

I have an entire post detailing steps on how to be elegant on social media, but I always mention this point because we all have two identities. Our real identity and our digital identity.

Be careful what you post, who you follow, who follows you, and what you engage with. You can read more about social media elegance here

Final thoughts

No matter where you are in life, your reputation is a powerful tool to keep in your belt. A good reputation will get you jobs, help you make connections, and many other benefits. It should be handled with care.