disappear and come back hotter

Disappear and come back hotter

Disappear and come back classier. hotter. better.

I came across a tik tok the other day that was showing a woman’s fitness journey over a period of several months. The audio said something along the lines of disappear and come back better. I can’t remember the exact wording of it. 

It made me think about how I love winter so much because I use those 3 months as a time to disappear and come back a better version of myself.

While everyone is complaining about wintertime, I’m always talking about how I love it.

My home is my safe space, so I love being inside with candles lit watching a cozy movie or reading a book. I love when it gets dark early and I love making delicious meals for my family.

I also spend a lot more time at the gym in the winter. 

Since there is virtually nothing else to do that doesn’t require spending money, I find that my workouts are more intense over the colder months and I am more focused on myself.

This year I am encouraging you to disappear over the winter and come back hotter.

Not just physically hotter, but a total life glow up. From your fitness to your fashions.

Why disappear? 

Why should you disappear? Why not just glow up while continuing to live your life the way you normally do?

Because disappearing means you cut off as many distractions from the outside world and allows you to get laser focused on your ultimate goals.

Plus, you can really do a dramatic transformation that is more noticeable to people if they’ve gone for months without seeing you.

Here’s how to disappear and come back hotter.

Create your goals

This is the fun part. You get to decide exactly what you want to achieve during this time. Lose 20 pounds? Learn a new skill? Make more money and go on a vacation? Whatever you want to do, make sure to write it down.

You don’t need to have just one goal, you can have as many as you need. After all, you will have plenty of time to work on yourself.

I do recommend doing some type of physical transformation during this time, it might not be the main focus of your disappearance, but the best time to be in the gym is during the dead of winter.

There is little else that you can be doing during the colder months that don’t cost money.

Why not use this time to get in better physical shape? Plus part of coming back hotter is making some sort of transformation with your appearance. It’s fun!


I know it seems extreme, but the goal is to essentially fall off the face of the earth for 3 months.

  • Spend less time talking on the phone with your friends.
  • Don’t go out and party or socialize.
  • Delete social media off of your devices OR if you aren’t deleting the apps completely, simply stop posting on them.
  • Definitely do not post any photos of yourself or allow yourself to be tagged in any group photos.

Completely disappear.

You will not be able to avoid your co-workers, but you will be able to avoid almost everyone else.

If necessary, let your friends and family know that you will be taking some time to yourself over the winter (or whatever time you choose) and you will not be as available for social gatherings like you used to. 

And you know what? It’s okay to miss social gatherings sometimes. It adds a level of mystery to your life.

When is the best time to disappear?

In my opinion the best time to disappear is right after New Years. The holidays are very busy and you will probably be spending a lot of time with loved ones so you won’t be able to focus on your growth as much.

If you disappear between January 2 and the first day of spring, you will have 3 months to level up your life.

Disappearing isn’t difficult if you fill that time with things that you are passionate about and things that will keep you busy. 

Work on yourself

Come back classier.

Take an elegance course. If you want to make a life change, this is a wonderful time to take an online course. I suggest diving into my modern elegance course, where I teach you how to create an elegant life in 60 days or less. You will learn how to speak, dress and act like a classy woman.

feminine spring activities

Learn all the skills to become the classiest woman in the room.

  • 20+ Etiquette rules all elegant women should know.
  • How to dress like an elegant woman.
  • Elegant tips I’ve learned from the Royal Family.
  • How to command attention in a classy way.
  • How to be elegant in a toxic situation.
  • 50 Ways to be elegant each day.
  • 7 ways to boost your intelligence.
  • 5 ways to be more sophisticated
  • Hobbies elegant women have
  • 10 ways to look polished every day
  • How to be graceful like a Princess
  • …and more!

Come back hotter.

Work out…a lot. This is self explanatory. Invest in a gym membership or start following videos on Youtube. Don’t forget to track your progress with photos instead of weight.

While it is normal to have a weight loss goal, sometimes what you lose in fat you gain in muscle so the number on the scale can be discouraging.

You should be kind to yourself with your fitness goals and work hard.

Whiten your teeth.

Spend the last month of your disappearance whitening your teeth. You can go to the dentist if you would like, but I have always used Crest Whitestrips and they give amazing results at a fraction of the cost of a professional whitening treatment.

Get some new clothes.

You don’t have to get an entire wardrobe if you don’t want to but you should get at least one dress that makes you feel beautiful and one casual outfit that flatters you.

You will need these outfits for the reveal photo when you reemerge into the world.

Get your hair done.

Touch up your roots, try a new color or get a haircut. Make some kind of change/upgrade to your hair at the end of your transformation. The goal is to come back hotter so you really want to have the wow factor. Don’t try something too extreme though, with elegance simple is always the way to go.


Don’t forget the mani-pedi. Having your nails done is one of the top ways to look polished. Get your nails done at the end of your transformation.

Come back better

Spend time at home creating systems for your life

Do you find that your life is unorganized? Is your house cluttered? Do you feel like you never have time to do anything that you want to do? It’s because you haven’t created systems to optimize your life.

I suggest creating systems and schedules for your entire life to help it run more smoothly.


Since you will be spending more time in the house, why not get into homemaking. Start baking and cooking. Decorating and making your house a cozier, more welcoming space. If it’s already cozy and nice, I suggest deep cleaning to reset the space.

Read personal development books

It’s no secret that reading has changed my life. But there are so many personal development books that you can read during this time to level up your life in ways you never even thought of. Dive into a couple of books while you are working on yourself.

Get your finances in order.

Read some financial books so you can create or update your financial plan. Things can change quickly in our lives so it is important to always have an up to date financial plan. This will help you achieve all of your goals and set you up for a good financial future.

Remove toxic people from your life.

Now is the time to evaluate your inner circle and figure out who you don’t want to be close with after you come back to reality.

Not everyone should be your friend. If that person is toxic for you then it’s time to let them go. Evaluate the people you spend the most time with and make changes according to your goals in life. If these people won’t grow with you and support you, it is time to move on.

Coming back to reality. Transformation reveal.

Congratulations! You’ve worked so hard and now it’s time to reveal the new version of you to the world. It’s time to arrange/attend a social gathering with friends and family.

Put on your best outfit and make sure you look incredibly stunning. You should feel stunning as well because you’ve been pouring all of your energy into bettering yourself for the past couple of months.

At this event, make sure you get a good photo of yourself to post on social media. Use it as your new profile image to symbolize a new start.

Final thoughts

We all need to reset our lives every now and again. Disappearing for 3 months is a reset like no other where you do nothing but focus on yourself. It yields amazing results and it’s really fun to look back and see how far you have come.

You can do this, darling.

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