I started working towards becoming a classier woman when I was nearing the end of my 20s. I lived a very different life than I am living right now. There were things that I have normalized now that I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of back then.
As I was thinking about it the other day, I realized that there are things that elegant women have normalized that other types of women do not. I would know because I was there at one point of my life.
Today I’m going to be sharing the things that elegant women have normalized
1. Investing in self care
At the end of my 20s I never spent money on self care. I probably couldn’t afford it, and even if I managed to come across the money, I would spend it on frivolous things.
Perhaps it’s because I’m getting older, but I have put a huge focus on spending money on self care. Anything I want that seems a bit pricey, I make sure to save the money for. If I want to age gracefully and take care of my body, it’s going to cost. There is no way around it.
Classy women invest in themselves in many ways. From getting their nails and toes done (which does cost a lot of money these days), to splurging the regular massage, acupuncture, facials, etc. they are making sure their self care needs are met.
2. Prioritizing mental health
We have come a long way in the U.S. when it comes to prioritizing our mental health. It was never heavily discussed when I was growing up, and I feel bad because I don’t think our mothers had the type of mental health support that we have today.
Classy women make sure to prioritize their mental health. They have normalized skipping an event because they are mentally drained, they have normalized asking for help if they need it.
They have normalized taking a step back from a person in their life who isn’t healthy for them.
Prioritizing your mental health has an incredible impact on the overall quality of your life and I didn’t realize that until I started focusing on my own mental health.
3. Having a small circle / editing friend circle when needed
While I do believe that every woman needs a village, I’ve noticed that classy women are very selective about the people they choose for their village.
These women don’t have time for anyone who isn’t going to be a good influence or have the right energy. They believe that access to them is a privilege and their energy is precious. Not everyone deserves access to them.
4. Letting other people show and not tell
“An apology without change is manipulation”
Elegant women take note of the way people act and things they do instead of what they say. At the end of the day, it’s important to make sure that the people in your life are actually going to be good for you.
I’ve learned that high value women don’t tolerate people who aren’t true to their word. They won’t allow manipulative or toxic people in their inner circle.
It’s something that I’ve learned over the years and it has really improved my life in many, many ways.
5. Living a private life
I love social media and I love being a part of the digital realm. But I think we can all agree that slowly over the years nothing is private anymore. People are willing to put it all on the internet for the world to see.
There are many people that I am friends with online that I know way too much about. I know what cars they drive, what their house looks like, where they go every weekend, even where their kids go to school.
Some people even air out their relationship or friendship drama online. It’s too much.
6. Not people pleasing
One of the most common themes I hear about from women is guilt. Most of the time it’s mom guilt, other times it’s guilt about work, school, or friends.
I think it’s very easy to feel like you aren’t doing enough in any or all areas of your life, but as I’ve grown on this journey I’ve learned that I’m only human.
I can’t do everything, I can’t please everyone, and that is perfectly alright. There is no reason for me to be bending over backwards trying to make everyone happy.
Women who are serial people pleasers are some of the most unhappy people I’ve ever known. They spend all of their time and energy making everyone happy but themselves, to the point where they are eventually pouring from an empty cup.
As you make changes to your life and level up, you will notice that things you never used to do will become normal for you. It’s an amazing feeling to realize how much you’ve changed.