How to be classy. The ultimate guide

Hello darling! Welcome to The Gorgeous Life. If you are new here, my name is Victoria and I talk about all things related to elegance and personal development.

I also run a Modern Elegance course, today I want to cover one of my absolute favorite topic, Class. I’m going to give my best tips and tricks on how to be classy and elegant. 

My obsession with Elegance started when I was young. I remember being very interested in Princess Diana (even though I was a child). Then when I was 11 years old, The Princess Diaries was released and I fell in love with the movie.

Mia’s transformation to a princess was a dream come true for me. I always imagined living life as an elegant princess. I wanted to learn etiquette, have tea, dress like a royal, and everything in between.

A couple of years ago, I watched The Princess Diaries again and it suddenly gave me an extraordinary burst of inspiration.

I realized that with a little bit of studying, a wardrobe upgrade, and a change in my lifestyle, I could be an elegant woman too.

I spent an entire year studying etiquette and manners, fashion for elegant women, reading about my favorite elegant women, working on myself and editing my life until I realized that I had changed in a dramatic way. Focusing on elegance has given me the life that I wanted as a little girl.

Of course I am always growing and evolving, but my personality and the way I carry myself has changed so much.

What is elegance?

Elegance is defined as ‘the quality of being graceful and stylish in appearance or manner; style.’ Let’s have a look at Princess Diana, for example.

She was kind, spent much of her time traveling the world and helping others, she was an incredible mother, she was well dressed and put together when she went out, and she was brave enough to bend the royal rules a little here and there. 

elegant woman
Princess Diana (1961 – 1997) at a state dinner in Canberra, November 1985. (Photo by Jayne Fincher/Princess Diana Archive/Getty Images) read article

Let’s look at a modern elegant woman, Michelle Obama. She is well educated, graceful, extremely kind, down to earth, well mannered, has high standards for herself as told from her famous quote, “when they go low, we go high”.

She is a wonderful wife and mother, and from what I hear, she makes everyone she meets feel very comfortable. 

6 common reasons you might be struggling with elegance/femininity

Can you relate to any of these?

⭐️You were a tomboy your whole life and you feel like it’s time to channel your feminine energy.

⭐️You’re in college (or about to graduate) and are facing the real world for the first time. You want to learn etiquette, how to dress, and how to navigate the world with class.

⭐️You’re a mom and you’ve lost yourself in the crazy life of raising kids. You want to find yourself and become a classy, put together mom.

⭐️You’re having an identity crisis. Perhaps you just got out of a toxic relationship, have been stuck in your ways for a long time, or you generally don’t have a connection with your soul.

⭐️You’re over 40 and you want to revamp your life! Maybe your kids are older and you’re ready for a new chapter. So many of my clients are in this stage, you are not alone.

⭐️You were picked on in school, or you were in situations where you always had to be tough. Now you want to be soft and feminine.

Maybe you clicked on this post because you aren’t sure if you want to begin the journey of becoming a classy, elegant woman.

Here are a few ways to know without a doubt that you are ready to level up your life

You don’t want to be the woman that society is pushing.

This may be slightly controversial, but let’s face it…many women in society (aka instagram and social media), seem to be doing the same kind of things. 

Cyberbullying, twerking for attention and posting thirst trap photos, interested in becoming more in touch with their masculine energies, feeding into drama, wearing extremely revealing outfits, the list goes on. 

You want to transform your personal style and appearance.

I am the first person to say that elegance isn’t solely based on the way you dress, but your outward appearance has a huge impact on how you are perceived. 

Plus, when you are dressed well, people treat you differently, you feel better about yourself, and you attract a different type of man. 

You want to channel your feminine energy.

You are a girly girl. You love all things pink, dresses and glitter. You want to spend time exploring your femininity. You want to be an amazing homemaker, exude feminie energy, and be an absolute goddess. 

You want to stand out in a good way.

In a world full of Instagram baddies, you want to be the classic, timeless diamond in the rough. You want to be well spoken, intelligent, graceful, kind, beautiful, caring, and master etiquette.

You notice some things that your friends and other people are doing that aren’t classy and you don’t want to be like them, you want to level up. You want to become a better version of you.

2 Reasons why you might find it hard to be an elegant woman.

You didn’t have a feminine influence growing up.

Maybe your mother was always at work. Maybe she just wasn’t an ultra feminine woman. Either way, you didn’t have an elegant influence in your life to teach you how to carry yourself like a lady.

You weren’t taught etiquette growing up, you never learned how to be a proper homemaker, and because of this lack of an elegant influence, you aren’t even sure where to start.

elegant woman

You are uncomfortable with your body

This was the second most popular response from my email list. It’s devastating to read, but so many women are ashamed of their body and it holds them back from becoming a better woman.

The only way to solve this problem is with consistent hard work on your diet, and exercise. 

It makes me sad that women don’t feel confident in themselves, but I understand their frustration. Check out this post if you want the tips that helped with my fitness journey. I’m seeing results and loving it!

How to be classy: 10 steps for beginners

create elegant appearance

The first thing people notice about you is your appearance (most of the time) We are always going to be judged by the way we look and how we dress.

Diana was a master at the way she dressed. She was able to communicate her feelings with clothing which is one of my favorite things about her style.

She was modest and classy, but you could also still find her out running errands in bike shorts and an oversized sweatshirt.

She understood that you didn’t have to be glammed up all the time but was able to present herself in a classy and graceful manner on a daily basis.

Your appearance goes beyond what you wear.

It’s about learning how to look polished and put together. It’s also about taking care of your hair, nails, skin and teeth. It’s all part of the total image you are putting out to the world.

Edit your friendship circle. 

This one is going to be hard for many of you. But the reality is that if the people around you are toxic, they will bring you down.

I had to remove many people in my life over the past few years, and it was one of the absolute best decisions that I could have made for myself. 

Everyone in my life now are people who I have known forever and have my best interest at heart. They are also fine, upstanding people whom I would trust with my life.

They are nothing but positive energy and that’s the kind of circle you need in your life. I wrote an entire post where I mention the types of toxic people you need to remove from your life if you want to become a classy woman.

Learn Etiquette

With each day that passes I am shocked at how many people don’t practice the most basic of etiquette. But when you really think about it, learning etiquette really isn’t a thing anymore.

It seems old fashioned and people these days don’t have the same values as they did in the past. In order to be a classy woman, you must learn how to act with grace in even the most trying of circumstances. 

Set high standards

High standards protect you from low quality experiences.


I can not stress this enough. No matter what you do in life, you need to keep standards high for yourself and never accept anything less.

I have always been good with this and it is one thing that I love about myself. I live my life a certain way. I had standards for my job (I would only accept a specific income).

I wake up in the morning aspiring to be the absolute best woman, wife, and mother that I can possibly be.

Consume elegant content

One of the first places I started when I wanted to become a classier woman was the content that I consumed. I talk about this all of the time because I cannot stress enough how important it is.

If you are ready to reinvent yourself as a feminine, elegant, classy woman, you should consume content that will give you tips on how to act, dress, and give mindset shifts.

Protect your energy at all costs.

Energy. One of my favorite things ever. I am so fascinated by energy because of the feeling of it. Negative vibes and toxic people have no room in my life.

I’ve worked very hard to get to this point in my life where everyone I surround myself with is a good, positive person and it really does make a huge impact on day to day life.

Be confident in your beauty- inside and out.

No matter what you look like, you need to understand how beautiful you are and don’t let anyone make you feel less than.

I know of so many women who are insecure about the way they look and I just want to give each one of them a hug and let them know that they are beautiful in every way.

Outer beauty is great, but inner beauty is more important. A classy, elegant woman is kind, polite, helpful and supportive of others, nonjudgmental and lifts others up.

Upgrade your wardrobe

Classy women wear classic, timeless, modest, and feminine clothes. They pay attention to the details and are sure to curate a wardrobe that is going to flatter their body.

Classy women aren’t afraid to splurge on high quality pieces because they know they will have them for a long time. They don’t focus on fast fashion because it’s too trendy.

If you want to become classier, you will have to upgrade your wardrobe.

Practice self-care.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock then you might have seen all the articles about self-care. 2015 me would never have given it any attention but present day me is all about self-care.

Sometimes we get so busy working and living life that we forget to treat ourselves like queens.

Self-care is an important way to maintain excellent mental, physical, and emotional health. Once I started practicing a regular self-care routine, I found that my anxiety symptoms reduced and I saw an overall improvement in my mental health and wellness.

My favorite things to do for self-care are working out, having a candlelight shower, going on a hike in the woods, having an at home spa day, hot stone pedicures, and going for drives on nice days.

Invest in yourself.

The problem with many women is they spend all of their time, energy, and money on others. Some women even feel guilty to treat themselves and invest in their own well being.

By setting aside money in your budget to invest in yourself, you are investing in a better future.

Here are just a couple of examples of investments I made in myself this year. I invested in Invisalign, online courses, and incredible books to boost my intelligence.

Take an elegance mini course

Modern Elegance is all about creating a life that you love, respecting yourself, being kind to others, being well mannered, and well dressed. Creating an elegant lifestyle is easier than it may seem and it’s definitely a journey that is worth taking.

If you are interested in a mini course, I have one available. Sign up below!

Are you ready to begin your elegance journey? I can help you every step of the way.

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